11 November, 2014.
This day last year, I became an aunt round about 11:30 pm, Pakistan time. We, all my family spread around the globe were waiting for this day for sometime now. It was day when, every member of the family was supposed to get a promotion, Cousins were to become aunt and uncles ( mamu and khalas ), The mother chachas and mamus and khalas were to become grandmother and grandfathers. I think that was the most anticipated day of the century yet!
The day finally came, we got the promotion letters. 11 November, everyone was on their was to beds when i screamed from the lounge. I had the pictures of the baby, my niece.
It was first time i became an aunt. Not only that, my happiness was more than most for we share the same stars and my birthday is just 4 days away from her. That night was the best night. Everyone from school knew of my becoming an aunt because that is how much I shouted of her being born.
Today, is 1 year from that day. 2015. Her birthday. This is my way of letting the world know that my niece is one year old. I have not seen her yet, Just in pictures and on Skype yet she is the most beautiful girl in the world! She lives in America and I beg her parents to visit Pakistan. Oh and her father and mother are two of the most coolest people. Her father is my quote, bff and her mother is my sister.
Your pictures make me and everyone else in Pakistan crazy! All we want to so is break through these screens and hold you in my arms. We already fight among us of who will hold you first when you’ll come.
Happy Birthday from all Pakistan, baby!!
I love you from infinity to beyond!
P.s: Her name is Aya Fatima.
I don’t have an ideal yet. No one has inspired me that much. So in its place I am going to write something new. It’s a different form of writing and new for me. I am a kind of person who literally do not know how to keep relations but now that person makes me want to learn to keep em’. Don’t you go judging me now!
I don’t have an ideal and right now you seem like one. So, i write this for you. Keeping you in mind while I bleed the words of me. All those things that i want to tell you, I write them now for you to read. Peace in solitude is what I was looking for. Seems like a state but after you have given up on world, It’s all you can hold on to. I was flying into the midst of the sky, somewhere, where lies the veil between air and sky. To some it may feel like their isn’t any but to me they are to sides of our ending, You evolving in me and us becoming notable or we become the night, all dark where everyone thinks of reaching the sky while moving alone the air not acknowledging it. You are on the ground, sleeping soundless while I inherit all of the poetic art from all the poets who stood at my place, flying in and out of the dreams that those who dream for who we stay awake all night. I have them on my sides now, I have there blessings. They pass on the knowledge and wisdom. I met F.Scott Fitzgerald, we chatted, he told me he wrote of our great love songs before we breathed the first pump of oxygen into our lungs
‘They slipped briskly into intimacy,
from which they never recovered’
I smiled at such a thought, i told him i remember him saying,
‘There are all kind of love in this world,
never the same love twice’
With this refreshing of his memory of the lover he may have written this for, i told him about mine, how i feel for him and that this maybe that one fall of my life, where even when all the world maybe laughing at me for have slipped so carelessly, I shield myself from that feeling that knocks on our doors every one and then when we’ve fallen. I told him that now that i have seen your face blazing under the sunlight, that made my side churn and while I didn’t feel a thing for i was flying into my infinity. I have found that love that I want to hold on to and erase everything from you saying but leave only love, ‘Love but love’, For this is what I feel standing in this veil. The irony of those who stare at the sky to looking for stars doing see me hanging in the balance, I know the reason too, yes my love now that i have had all this time to think about us,the secret knowledge of the worlds that we skip by not knowing has fallen upon my shoulders. I can feel the heavy headness when I breathe the same air that you just one million of a second ago took into you, wanting to live another minute for you see the beauty of this world, you let out after a glimpse in my direction when you saw me struggling and gasping for to breathe, since slowing I am running out of it to where i stand, you let it our of your system without shadowing a thought over it to let me live for you a little more.
Now i know that you are aware of the harshness this place has to offer where I now stand, so as a consolation, you let me breathe the same air that passed between your lungs and made your heart beat making you alive all the more, I realize now you send me this air to hold on to you for a little more, the air with the overwhelming feelings of your essence and presence and the saltish taste and some magical message that made it all the more heavy which makes me long and linger for it more and more with every breath that passes me by showering me with you all in this infinity.
I who had given up on all the people of the world that currently posses you, was on her way to the constellation beyond this world may now give this world another chance, maybe after all this time I am still willing to play a hunch just for another to spend standing next to you, not breathe in the air that you that a million of a second ago rather quarter of a million of a second or, or rather to take in the air without wasting any other part of the infinity of second and consume it all in me, for this is what I now, to slowly evolve in you, to collide with you and evolve in the air stairway that may take us to be the most radiant star in what lies beyond the reach of eyes, never to be parted from you ever again, anywhere or somewhere I go.
This seems like an ideal to me now. An ideal what makes me feel all this in the most smallest and uncountable part of that which can never be known of the infinity of second. Now just imagine what you make me feel in the whole of a second and I have years to live now!
So, I literally have no idea on what to write for this assignment. Here goes a vague a try.
Anatomy of everything,
The words clearly suggests that it must be something internal. My whole point of using this title is to try and fall into the abyss of life and maybe by some miracle find some solid ground. My writing can not be classified under any specific category. i mean, why do discrimination? It all starts somewhere doesn’t it. One day you are being a racist about your writing and the next you may decide that it keep things in ranks and before you know you are discriminating people.
Who knows tomorrow i may wake up and decide to write about fashion or hunger and then go through all the pains of changing tagline and stuff. I am perfectly happy with my site. I write about everything that comes from my heart. Its all inside of me, Its all the depths and deepness of eternity, the metabolism of feelings or digestion of pain, Its all equal to me and i feel all the deepness with the same intensity of everything, It’s a free world and there are all these thing that are yet to discovered by me and what if I discover something but my site heading doesn’t go with the topic and that as a consequence I have to drop the whole thing. It will really be a waste of a lifetime. so It’s all really just the anatomy of everything.
I do not really know the best way to put it but I have been thinking about it for sometime now. I was watching Grey’s Anatomy and the general surgeon walk over to the love of his life to confess and it struck me right there ….!
I think that we are pieces of meat who do great deeds of bravery all day along that passes us by unnoticed, literally unnoticed, I mean that we do not even ourselves know that we do them.
To begin with, I think we maybe small and vulnerable but that is all only be choice because behind our foreheads is a world of our own and that is just like the universe-yet to be discovered. It’s a huge world, so huge that we ourselves do not know what it can do or behold. The things behind out foreheads-brain, can do anything, We all are people with this, some have lost the key to this world but it’s still all the same What we do or think is up to ourselves. We are really in command of how we think about something or feel about it.
My say is that everyday, we go out, to schools, for jobs, in other words we interact with people all the time, from the start of our day till the time we end it. We talk where necessary, we share out experiences, feelings, seek answers to our problems, in other word we speak and let them in our worlds below the hairs, they walk in it. But we are letting them in ours, we are not walking in theirs so there is possibly no way to know how they might take what we tell them. Will they have good opinion about us? or bad? Or are they lying when they are consoling us? We can never be sure about any of these things, we’ll never know how they will feel about us or how they judge us. Here is where our bravery is. We walk tall and tell someone something about us, playing a hunch, hoping they will not get it wrong and i think it is really brave of us that we walk into the battlefield with armors but a solider on the front. It is scary and fascinating at the same time.The bravery of waking into the battlefield giving them the freedom of choice of weapon.
We can confess to someone that we love them, while we are hoping that they will share mutual feeling, we never know when they might decide to differ from those feelings. Showing ourselves small and vulnerable is the real quality of being brave and because we all do it we are all brave.