The lone shade of gray.

I have always believed in the knowledge that the universe is just to all those living within it. In a more elaborate fashion, all that happens to one individual happens to everyone else too, only with a different face. We, also as one being but with different perceptions for all the zillion people around the globe, perceive a different face of what it is being handed down to us.

It is also true that only some of us can prevail through all that happens to us because this too depends on the person and how he powerful he perceives himself to be? The esteem for everyone varies for them and so does their perception of themselves and things happening to them.
Now, this is how I perceive this to be; chances are that you do not agree with me on this and have a completely different idea about it all, which absolutely contradicts my thoughts.
Regardless of how we see things happening to us, they are going to happen to us. To every breathing human on this planet, things are going to happen, and he has to deal with them all alone, regardless of his strong bonding with his people.
At the end of the day, when you are lying on your bed battling your thoughts, you are all alone, even if there is someone next to you because unless you voice your thoughts they can never know the epic turmoil of your mind. And if there is one thing about voicing thoughts, it is that you never really voice them accurately. The complete and utter truth of the tsunami of your thoughts forever remains a secret between you and your cranium.
All my life, I’ve been told that this is a negative thought and resonates a negative vibe that pollutes the whole pond of thoughts. I beg to differ because it’s not just black and white anymore. It’s also gray- a light shade of gray; it’s both positive and negative.

It’s true that we have people and that they help, to a certain extent. What we mistake that certain level of help is with the ending of help. We become hopeless with the sin that the level of assistance a significant human can provide in one’s life, is the Zeus solution to that problem. After that, there can be no help. This is what we believe and this is from where most depression stems.

When I say this is where depression stems, I mean for those who are different. The people who already know that you have to help yourself in the end, find it difficult to do it themselves because everyone around them is so focused on letting their other half or love, help them. When someone sees such distrust in their own thoughts, by those around them being ignorant, one very easily falls into despair and depression. Both the former and the latter are at fault at here.

The former because they are dependent on others around them to save them and they only get saved to the extent, which the energy of the other person allows to buy. These people need to remember that everyone, no matter how much they love you, will always first use their energy for themselves and then for them. Hence, they only get a limited amount of energy for them.

The latter suffer because even when they are investing their own energy in themselves, they refuse to jump over the hurdle of allowing themselves to be different. They are so hell-bent on having the other around them to accept them as their own, that they also willingly or unwillingly submit to their ideas and perception, destroying their own-selves very beautifully.

Unfortunately, I am the latter.

The thing about accepting the truth about being alone is also the pathway to focusing on yourself and finding yourself. We focus so much of our energy on those around us that when we finally are alone in our presence, we don’t know who we are because we never bothered to us, unmasked by the opinion of those in our life,

Nonetheless, the crux of it all is, we are all alone and its okay, even if it’s sad, its okay. Because the darkness and the sadness have its connotations, which creates a reputation that it holds. Think about it, in all your day, in all those 24 hours, you can’t possibly feel happiness all the time or feel sadness all the time; you have to feel it all, some more than the other but all of it, every day, maybe because this, in fact, is what life is all about. Maybe, this is what we have to master and when we finally do, we die?

Whatever may be the case, we are alone. Period. There is no denying that. But we also have people who provide us with mere happy moments, which serves as fuel for our energy. We also meet people that we have to let go of knowingly and there are those that we leave us by their accord. They leave, people, they always leave, leaving us alone because life is forever teaching us about letting go and we never know when we might have to let go of someone we truly love.

So I am going to cherish this moment, of all, the happiness and the sadness and with people around me, but also when I’ll be alone tonight, just before sleeping, when I’ll have the power to all my thoughts, I want this time wish for someone to drive them for me, because I will command them myself, I will accept them as the significant part of me and give them the importance that they deserve, to help me grow in who I want to be.

-Naba Mehdi