Some shortcomings.

I have a problem with all most all the ways we govern this life. The way we act and do stuff. Our habits and our way of life. I think we are living life in the most wrong way possible.

One of the major issue with us is when something becomes really mainstream, we start to not acknowledge it. We do it still, but we act as if it does not exist. This goes on about everything. One of many errors with the human nature.
I think why we do is because, all of us want to be different. The topic can entertain certain conflicts among ourselves. And we believe the issue is insolvable.
So, why bother? Why not just keep on doing it, without talking about it.

We have done this we depression. We act as if no one has it except us. No one can understand it.
We have done this with power.

These are just vague words. They can mean nothing. We can all act as if we have not read them, but deep down, we know we are governed by these words.

Power is a very intricate issue. We all want power. The power to rule. If we have power, we can make anyone bend according to our wills. Or so we believe.
The white people want power over the black. They believe their color already gives them power.
The black people demand freedom, but they are really asking for power over the other.
The Asians want power.
The poor want power.
The children want power.
The Parents demand power.
The Politicians demand power.

Each and everyone of the human being alive on this planet, believe it is their right to have power over the other.
You and anyone who is reading or anyone who will hear this above sentence will discard it, justifying to himself, that he is not like that. He does not want power.

I have a question. Why does anyone think it is their right to have power over someone else?
The world has really become a big game of power. Everyone’s running after it. Everyone believe that to have freedom is to have power over the people whom he himself judges to be on a lower level  of life than him.

What is power really?
Power is authority over someone else. Someone who is not our equal in all standards of life.
If you are elder than someone, than that does not qualify you to have power. If you are richer than someone or prettier than someone. If your color is white or if you go to an elite school.
We ourselves become the judges of over whom we can have power over.

Power will conquer us nothing. If we stop running after it so hard, only then will we realize this hard truth. Only then we still stop caring about what the other is doing and think for our own selves. Only then will we try to use our brains to its full capabilities.

In our daily lives, daily routine, you ask your sibling to pick up the dishes, and they either ignore you or say no. You become ignited because your command is being ignored. You raise your voice and give it another go. It might work or it might not.

If it does, you become confirmed that with your power also needs to come force or it to apply.
If it does not work, you resent that person. You start believing, you are not getting the respect you deserve. It is bad for your reputation. You are worthy of more respect than this.

Why are you worthy of more respect?
What have you done to earn it?

This is only a very small example of power in action. There are far bigger and wider examples on very high levels too.

But they are all exceedingly baseless. You get nothing by it.
Having the power of something does not under any circumstances gives you any right to respect.

I wish, we’d just understand this.
We are wasting our lives and perfectly good brains.
But it is hopeless. We are hopeless.

Human beings, us people, we are as ignorant and arrogant as we can ever be.

-Naba Mehdi

Because you know.

Because you know.

You run a race with a million,
To come out in this world,
Those millions Becomes a family,
And that race becomes a journey.

If you win the race,
You live alone for the next some months,
In that time, you relinquish the memories,
With a smile for having a good Time and surviving.

You belong to a family,
And you choose a new one,
The friends that You love, become a family too,
You make some memories and move on To the next family.

You meet your best friend, and your boyfriend,
Who can also turn into your husband,
You make memories,
That makes you smile in those dark corners of your head.

You enter this world alone,
You die alone,
You live alone too,
In the midst of your subconscious mind.

Your friends look for everlasting partners,
But you know you are smart,
You don’t look for that one to have all the memories with,
Rather, you try to make memories with everyone along the road,
Because you know you are smart,
Because you know you are alone,
Because you know you don’t fear it,
Because you know,

You know you have the memories of those shared journeys,
To keep you company on the journey to find yourself.

-Naba Mehdi.

Because you know.


Ever Elusive Carpe Diem.

You wake up and start your day. Not from where you left it before the previous night. It is simply not possible no matter how much people try to convince you that it is. You always start new.

The feelings from the previous night. The surrounding and the perfect positions, the attitude, motivation, inspiration, it’s all gone. Submerged into the oblivion. You can’t take all this to sleep with you and wake up the next morning, with it still embracing you.

A breath in. A breath out. Carpet diem, she whispers to herself, looking at her own reflection in the mirror, while brushing her teethes.

Breakfast. Some chat with family or neighbor. Getting on with the busy day. The job that helps you affords everything you own.

That is usually the start of our days. The job. Or school, because you need an education to get a job.

The dreams and hope and goals all slipping in the elusive abyss.

What is that we are doing with lives? Is this what we want? Is money the answer to all?? You get an education to have a job that will provide you money.

Money, for food, clothes, bills, accessories, electronics.

Is this carpe diem?

The elusive carpe diem slipping in the grasps of mortality. Because you are mortal. You will die. Is your carpe diem aging with you?


You are thinking about it. Don’t!

Yes, this is your carpe diem. Wherever you are, whatever job you have or grades you have. You have achieved that by seizing your day.

This is a people’s trick. Confuse you. Get you distracted. Make you think dirty about yourself.

When in the morning you looked at your reflection whispering your carpe diem, you were smiling. You were happy at what you became. You rejoiced in all that you have accomplished.

No one has any idea of this life. What the hell to do with it. Everyone is fueled on hunches’ instinct. Everyone is a gambler here. And the prize everyone is looking for isn’t the prize at all.

The real prize is elusive. Just like your carpe diem. A sudden moment of all the motivation and the perfect inspiration, that’s it. Make the most of it. Seize your day, before it elapses. That is your prize.

The moment of joy and the laugh, that is the prize. The accomplishments of your goals and dreams are the prize, because it will fall again. You will not feel this amazing feeling again. Not anytime soon, anyway.

You can’t always be happy. You can’t win your gamble forever. You are a gambler, when you win; you try another one because you want more. It’s your nature.

Life is a novel of short stories.

And your carpe diem is elusive because the day might end before you completely seize it. Before you complete the task.

Your Carpe diem is ever elusive. Beat it. Seize it before it really eludes.

-Naba Mehdi.

Ever Elusive Carpe Diem.

A hidden sanctuary.

Once upon a time,

There existed a land,

A land echoing of brilliant creatures,
Those creatures, born of an innate sanctuary.

Those people knew it not though,
Of their sacred work place,
For they were worshipping in places of stones and brick,
Yet, within those cranium walls, rotting were their brains.

That land has been divided,
Into amongst Various rulers,
For the thousands of years that it had been reformed,
Kings and presidents had been elected.

The Creatures of this land,
Thought themselves as unique and different,
Kind And selfless, smart and intelligent,
When they were none but ignorant and opposite.

They all prayed to different Gods,
And cursed the other Gods,
Yet, no one realized,
Of the One similar God within them.

They seized to look for God in nature,
when they started placing love in everyone but God,
They would blame the society for Being unfair to them,
Yet, their presence would be felt present in the same society.
They were lazy and selfish and wild and murders,
But all claimed to the victims of all.
All this has had happened,
Because they ignored the sanctuary of their heads.

To them all, all their Gods,
Gave a power hidden In a sanctuary,
They couldn’t see, For it was within them,
Burdening with the weight of what the eyes would see.

That sanctuary was a Magical place,
With the power, to conquer anything and anyone,
The means to find, why had their God sent them to this land,
Always bulging with The aroma,
of feelings and ideas and thoughts,
But because they refused to believe in magic,
They ignored their beautiful sanctuary and the God within them.

-Naba Mehdi.

A hidden sanctuary.

Crawling through the depths off insanity.

Life is in great depths,
And everything of life too,
Much far-er in depth than we know,
The life, spirit, brain and everything.

The modern world,
Doesn’t believe in depths,
Deception and short cuts,
Is the way of life here.

Artists and writers and dancers and musicians,
The insane creatures,
In struggles of escaping the inescapable,
These creatures go in depths, unknowingly.

To feel the blood flowing in your veins,
To hear the heart beat,
To feel blood working its way all the way up to the back of your brain,
To see your body react to the oxygen you inhale.

To feel love in a manner,
As the people in the middle ages did.
To think of life in a mad sanity,
As the philosophers did before time.

To live in this beauty,
Of the nature and the God within us.
To live in the sea of time,
As if the waves would wash the shards of sanity.

But, we creatures born off wings,
Prefer to crawling through the depths off insanity.

-Naba Mehdi

Why fictional characters are more plausible?

Why fictional characters are more plausible?

To get that, let’s clear this first, why do we watch movies or seasons? I believe, we in desperate measures are looking for people who go through the same thing as we go through, the same problems. When we don’t find them in people around us and even if we do, we don’t see the solution in detail of them so we turn to movies and seasons and create ever lasting bonds.

Those bonds are more powerful than people can anticipate. They have too many feelings and emotions and encouragement involved in them. Those bonds become saviour.

Doctor Derek shepherd from the American tv show Grey’s anatomy, is the man I want to be when I grow up. That professional and perfectionist. That great at what I do. All around the house I have this statement writen, on the walls and cupboards and doors, bathroom, everywhere, you name it, I miss Derek. My whatsapp status says it too. And I can’t seem to change my status for the past year because I feel like cheating on him.

It is more powerful than this. This bonds that gets created. No one has the capacity to understand this.

This becomes a source for us, a force of motivation and inspiration. We start living with them. We want their life styles. Them.

It is because they show understanding among themselves. They show love and family. Their whole lives are in front of us. They are something in their lives. Their lives have meanings. They have goals. We all want that. We all dig that.

So, we watch movies and grow feelings. Feelings for people we start living with, in our minds. And we grow motivation, to get off our asses and do something and be someone. Someone great. We do not want to settle for ordinary then because our ideals, our fictional ideals do not and will not settle for it. Neither would they want us to, because they love us, they care for us, about us.
They become the sunshine that we look for around us in our real lives.

And most importantly, they are stories. Life changing, beautiful stories.  Stories that are written by people driven and crazy as us.  Writers that are trying to escape their realities.
Some of those writers manage to create characters that change the whole course, those characters safes some lives.

Even a fraction of someone’s life saved, is worth all the fiction and love and writing.

Derek Shepherd, have saved my life many a times. I want to be like them. I want to save lives, too.

It is a beautiful day to save some lives, people. Let’s have some fun!

Some Precious Moments.

There come moments in a not so good and depressing day when you are reading a book for just lying and going around the social media sites and all of a sudden, you read some reference of a some book, it’s author or any character that you have absolutely been in love with.

You read it and you can’t help feeling that great sense of achievement and joy because you know something, You can understand something that is of your world and none other can get it. You smile for mere seconds and then you stop – being aware of your actions. You look around to see if anyone saw you smiling. No?  a pang of relief drops by accompanied by sadness, You wish someone would just understand this without you having to explain it to them. You stop for you are weird and if anyone were to see you laughing at yourself, what would they be saying?
So you stop laughing. However, still you feel an indispensible feeling rupturing your heart. A joyous art illuminating from the very heart of your heart.

That feeling, of being a little literate, of knowing something in this big wide world, it is enough to make your day.

The feeling doesn’t go away for an hour at max. You have it playing in your head, the joy, the good vibes. All in there. In your head. You are left with no choice but you enjoy that feeling alone. You make peace with it, with being alone and you stay there, calm, appreciating your own company, yourself. It is like seeing yourself after a long time. Meeting a friend after a long time, you see them and see how good and successful they have been. What a good personality they have.
You see yourself for the first time in years. You see how beautiful you are and how you don’t need anyone because you have yourself.

That is how you rejoice your solitude. Because only you understood that reference, you understood yourself. You were there for yourself in those moments. You were the man; you look for in the world.

You can and may sound crazy to the world in those moments and they might talk – accuse you of anything. Let them. They do not understand the importance of those moments. Those few moments are still self-meditatingly important.

That is important for you. The real love you get for fictional beings made your hour, some really worthwhile.

To entertain all ideas.

The brain is a rare specimen. It is rare in the sense of its complicated and mystic methods of working.
Without it, a person is dead. No one is anything without it. All that we are begins and end with it.

It is only through my brain’s power that I am writing this. There are artists, writers, poets, philosophers all around the world; they are what they are because their brains work that way.
People say, some people are special, that some people have special brains. I don’t think that is how it works. Whoever or whatever made us, gave us all, the same brain. All the Christians and Muslims and White and Black all have the same brain. We just activate different portions that allow us to be who we are.
It is that simple.

The brain is an objective being. There comes, the subjective being, the mind. The voices in the head, the noisiness, the disturbance, the aliveness, it is all through the mind.
Now, the mind works in a rather formidable way. It is like a child. An unborn child. It needs to be tamed and to be taken control of.

From what I have experienced, you can make your mind do anything you want. You can make it go to extends far beyond imagination. You can create voices and people and houses, and you can live in and with them.

You can have a secret garden of your own. Your very own escape place, where you are only happy.

The problem is, we are all scared of ourselves and our powers. Fear is deep rooted in us all. We fear not only others but ourselves too. We fear our brains.

That is how our brain controls us. It creates doubts and critism and sometimes it wins, because we become vulnerable and helpless and sad. It is not against us, it is just playing with us because it has been vacant and not appreciated. We all know how that feels. Like a naught being, it just plays with us and we take it seriously.

And because of this fear, we do not let ourselves experience the vivid imaginations. There is so much deep buried inside our brains that we do not let skimmer to the surface because we have no control over our feelings. We believe ourselves not to act rational at all times and unfortunately, we cannot control this action. We cannot think in between those moments of irrationality to stop ourselves.

If you love someone, whether you are with them or not, why not let your mind wander to the possibility in details of this happy carnation.
If you want to murder someone, why not in your head do it with every detail and then with your imaginary friends, why not celebrate that victory. Why not let yourself feel the guilt? There is no harm coming to anyone through it. It is just you making your time a little worthwhile.

The above examples are only the basic idea of what I am saying. My point ponders to a far wider array of imagination.

The idea in our heads comes in this way.
You are doing something, you are reading a book and suddenly in the midst of your head, you can feel some collected dots of an ambiguous idea that you can produce something of. It is like a dark and a thunderstorm night and somewhere in the world, you can feel it might rain. You can’t touch that idea, yet. It is like the indication of the clouds and wind, that there might be rain. You don’t know for sure, whether it will rain or not. There is a possibility though.

The mind presents those dots because; we have to fulfill our unrequited needs ourselves, without our knowing. We do in fact love ourselves even if we are not aware of it. So the mind vaguely, as a bygone, presents the idea, we feel it and then we catch it. Then the mind, presents the whole of its presentation, all the bulletins it had.
The interesting thing is, the mind does not represent the whole idea at first, because of our anger management issues. We certainly can bite, its ass of it does.

So why not entertain all ideas. Why be scared?
Imagine if the coffee were to spill at your important papers.
The house was to catch fire.
You were to say no to someone who loves you.

There is no fun in blocking our ideas and thoughts.
Yes, so you have thoughts about everything. The kind of thoughts that’ll put you in a heap of trouble. No, noone knows, not until you tell them.

Cherish your mind and your powers. Let not fear the thought of entertaining all thoughts.

-Naba Mehdi.

To be an Owl.

There is this need of ours for others to express their feelings for us,
They do,
And What do we Do then,
We reply to them in the shortest words we can conjure up, as if they expressed their feelings because they owed something to us.
You tell someone you like something of theirs or something about them, they’ll reply with a half smile and a thank you. But also they will feel obliged to say something equally nice to you in return too.

I do not know why this is. Why people feel so powerful at feelings.

The interesting thing is none of us actually understand feelings. Not even our own. We have no idea about the power and everything they process.
In true, the thought process and everything that happens in our minds begin with some feelings.
All the rush and voices we experience all day, that darkness or brightness, that something above your eyes, that all takes place because, unconsciously we conjure up some repressed feeling and then all day long the inside of our brains run like a fish market just to provide some justification and comfort to that feeling.
Feelings are so much more than this.
Our soul companion.

This is our ignorance again, that we do not understand these feelings but yet, we speak words.
Why do we have to talk?
I guess because this is mainstream. Like, you have to talk. You can’t sit around and not talk. Everyone’s doing it and so you have to too.
We don’t talk to express ourselves. That is a wide justification. We are told to talk to express ourselves.
But seriously, when does you ever do that?
We talk and tell our sad tales in twisted words and the listener should have to understand the meaning of those words, because if he does not then he don’t care.

Maybe this is why owls like to keep quiet I guess.

Because talking  only creates such problems. I don’t get it. Why do we do it?

Why do we create such problems in the name of feelings.

Absurd. Pathetic.

And for that.
I’d like to be an owl.

Because feelings can be scary. We are all so vulnerable, that in a room of two people, one would definitely have their feelings hurt in the end.

Why are we so vulnerable?
Why are we so hostile?
Why do we need to be understood, rather than to understand.


-Naba Mehdi.

The Good Old Positivity.

The good old bright side of things. The positive vibes. Everybody wants to live like that. In a good and positive way.

Avoid negativity as much as possible. Negativity is taught as a bad omen. Not wanted. Even though everyone’s mind is invested with bundles of negativity. Yet, it leads to a bad life. An unhappy life.

I am a negative person. I don’t like the positivity and the brightness and all. The undying hope and promise of love. The rays of shining light at the tunnel.

There is a certain beauty in the dark. In the color black. It is beautiful for those who have eyes for it. I believe in hope, the first ever blog that I ever hope was the ray of dawn. Here it is”

I start my day with the hope that dawn brings. The first ray, that falls on my face when i open my eyes enlightens me with the face that i get, what i hope for, that i get to see what i love or what i left the previous day in hope it of making it today.

Life is unexpected. Just when i think i got it straight, it get tangled again and with the same force, strength, love and passion i get on to untangling it. Life is full of surprises and sorrows and hope and love and lots of shit.

The sun that rises everyday gives me the hope that i have made it through the previous day and i’m strong because i am still breathing in this skin and surrounded by this soul ensuring my life. And i am strong because i was given this life to live and i am making it work.

As the population is increasing, as the people are growing they are out-coming hope.

Hope is a dangerous four letter word, that to some mean the world and to some mean nothing. Some people fly through the day following hope and some crawl beneath it, yet unaware. It is responsible for millions smile that i get to see. But it is not to be blamed, for it is not hope that hurts us, it is people.

Yet, expectations and hope are quite different things, People take them as one. People always disappoint me but hope don’t, it’s what makes me living.

But then again, it is in the nature of a human being to leave and i live by the hope to see them again. But some people, hopeless people, let go, go crazy, and get on with their lives. Goodbyes are the hardest part of live.

My world has changed me and i have learned to choose and learned to say Goodbye. Because people always leave and all i do is hope of seeing them again.

As long as there is ray of dawn, there is Hope.

But hope is the not the positive vibes. Hope can emerge from the negative too. Hope is something else completely.

The positive vibes are good and so are the negative ones. We classified them. Made them good and bad.

People want to have positivity . I want negativity. And then make something good of it. I want to emerge postitivty out of negativity.

That is crazy. But i also want to do something different. Something of my own.

This is my something own.

Bringing light out of darkness. Bringing the good in the monsters. The good stories of the evils.

There is always the good side of the villain. The real stories of them. That is what attracts me.
Hence, I am that. The villain. The negative person. There is joy in depression in trying to find our way out of the darkness, but not hating at the same time. Trying to love it. Trying to love the peace and calmness and the fear of the unknown. The unknown that can be sitting just right behind us, without our knowing. That is what darkness can offer. Brightness can not do that. Brightness leads to the undying efforts for the happily ever after.

That is the power of negative vibes. They don’t necessarily have a bad impact on us.

Our brain is always running very fast at a unfathomable speed. Thoughts are entering and existing. They are only thoughts. The brains needs to be boundless, to be limitless, to perform at its peak. We put boundaries at it. Limit it. Try and block many things, that we judge not right.

Now that is okay, we need to judge somethings. Somethings of our own and own choosing but the thing is we need to ask why are we judging it to limit it. Because society and the people around us ask us too or because our conscience says so.

If the latter, than i am not to say nothing.

But i believe that brain is not be limited. We need to let it reach its Zeus. Let is conquer what it needs to.

The good and bad vibes in our brains do no harm. They are there. We are experiencing them, living things, different things. There is no harm in that.
Nor can the negative vibes can be stopped from entering our realms.
Our brains have needs, to wander, to think, to imagine. They have no control over us, just like we did not have control over our brains when we 13.

So yes, I have negative thoughts. I enjoy them. I like them.
And then, i search for something good in them.

If that makes me a bad person, a negative person, a villain.
Then so be it.

-Naba Mehdi.