Most of us in this life are very fortunate to have people who love us, unconditionally. Unfortunately, most of us do not deserve this fortune.
I come from a rather big family. Whilst growing up, I grew with my cousins as they were my own siblings. We were taught to think of each other as so and years after, when some of us are married and have families of our own, we still take each other as siblings. We all love each other immensely.
There stands a problem here. How to love? How do I love them? I know I love them but I cannot, all the time confess this to them or do acts that will make them happy on my own sacrifice. The world these days does not operate this way. We have labels and words for such things and for the right reasons too; clingy, desperate, lifeless.
Another important rule is, we are not supposed to confess. We are a generation who lives only to delve into self inflicted misery and the prospect of happiness scares us.
The appreciable trait in us is that we can survive any intensity of pain. There is no limit to what we cannot withhold. But, most tunnels have two ends and as such, when we love someone, often enough, we are extremists and like to love them in all extremes.
Also, the complex web of life ensures that at one time, there are people at all ends who we love. It is very complicated and it complicates us within.
When there are so many people that we have to love and there is a limit to how much of our feelings we can express to them, most of that is left unsaid, creating a havoc inside. This jumbles feelings and we are unsure of what to say to whom, we are unsure of how to act and how to keep ourselves going at the same time.
This also leads to our failure in relationships. Almost all of us, are a failure at them, even if you are convinced that you are happy in yours; there is still a part in you screaming at you of the lies that you are telling yourself. We cannot reach the limits of peace if we are not truthful, even in the very last spec, to ourselves regarding our relations.
Another disaster, this problem leads to is, our slow painful disintegration. When faced with so many failures and with heightened feelings, we lose faith in ourselves. We start slacking in our work and our performance is affected and we start falling in the never ending pit of depression.
I am still unsure as to what I can do with my feelings for those around me but I am sure that I have to do something.
Life was never supposed to be easy. No one ever said that it would be, we just assumed it by ourselves and when faced with disappointment, we threw tantrums. There is not a person within us who is not suffering is one form of misery or another but it is his misery and so, he alone has to suffer it. It is amazing that we have these abilities to love and it is even more inspiring that some of us love without any bounds and limit but it is our decision of the amount of love. The receiver only duty is to receive the love we are giving them.
Never in our lives will we ever learn to love the right way. We just need to love and learn new ways to love and move on. Loving someone does not mean that we get to hold on to them forever. They will move on and we need to do the same. Some of the people we love, we will never see again and it is more painful than it seems right now but this is what love is, at least until we understand it.
We have to tame our feelings, show them when we must, confess them through actions of kindness and compassion; which will leave a mark forever but that is the most we can do. We must move on and create ourselves into someone great and worth remembering all the time, feeling the pain of the love. There will never be any release from that pain but the way I see it, there is no need to be afraid of that pain, there is a little peace in that pain too.
Instead I suggest that the next person we love, we love them harder then we did before. And there is only one way to test that, that is if you feel a harder pain when this new person leaves, only then will you have accomplished a higher level of love and on and on it will go until the day, we have to stop loving; stop breathing.