Shredded Humanity.

Over here in Pakistan, according to the Islamic calendar, it is the Ramadan month. The month of fasting.
Everywhere, everyone is on fasts, from like 3 in the morning till 7 in the evening.
The children obviously have holidays but the man do not. They have to work their jobs. Also, it is the summer season with extreme moisture. I can only imagine what it must be like for the poor class who have to work outdoors in this whether.
Let me not be so humble and think about them. No one really flutters their eyes when someone claims this sentence,’ What must it be like for the poor class to work outdoors.’

I went out with some friends today. The opening of the fast is called ‘Aftari’, I went out for Aftari. We went to McDonald’s. A nice gathering. We went their a little early so while we were sitting and chatting, an employee came and forced (in a polite way), my friends and me to give our feedback. We complied with it.
We then went to order.
I was standing there and waiting for my order. It was nearly the aftari time. A guard came and asked for 5 cokes. I guess they were being generous in their opinion and were giving free cokes and stuff to the guards and everyone.
The guard asked for it and some superior heard the order and said, I might add in a very disgusting tone to come back after the aftari.
The guard looked at him, helplessly, a satisfying smile appearing on his face, his was young about 29 or 30. I guess he had two children, and with the smile he asked in quiet voice,’Are we not to do the aftari?’
He had the satisfying smile, I guess because he was smiling at the universe for not letting him down. Not letting him down for he knew he was poor and he had no class to order or afford McDonald’s, he was not to be given any respect because people were waiting who were paying.

I did not do anything. I picked up my order and left. I did not pay for anything. My friend who payed, she only ate her fries and let all the other thing go to waste. That simply.

It has been 9 hours now. I am home, with my new fast. And I have this constant picture of that guard and his smile and his words. They are buzzing in my mind and I am disgusted at myself for not saying anything, for not standing up for him. What kind of a person am I?

I don’t think that guard was hurt or any disappointed feeling, I don’t think he felt like that. He did not even feel embarresed. I would have. That is an insult.
The next time I feel anything, I’ll be reminded of that. I won’t be able to feel. I won’t feel good about it. It is a regret of some sort.
A regret forever. I’ll go again to that place, I’ll eat something, enjoy. And I can go because my father works, same in this hot whether, but he sits in a Air Conditioned office.
That guard did not have that luxury.

Was he to open his fast with water, hot water, because he had a job. And I guess, eat nothing too because I don’t think they are allowed to eat on duty.
Is that what he is worth?
And interestingly, if there were an attack he would the first one to die.

Why are we so heartless? Why am I so heartless?
We are not humans. He was a human.
This world is disgusting.
All the religion of the worlds and all the good manners and all the money is good for nothing if we are to do this.

That smile will haunt me forever. I let an innocent man die and did nothing.

We are not okay. We deserve nothing. Not one of us. Only him and people like him.

-Naba Mehdi.


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