Choosing Your Own Family.

So we all have families and those of us who don’t have them, we want them. Family is kind of what we live for, who help us, sticks by us in sickness and in health. Family is a really funny concept now, ( I mean not disrespect), there are some seasons and movies now a days which just emphasis on the importance of family and they are always there with us in the time when we really need them.

Family is constant, it’s defintions for us varies.

Usualy what happens is, your parents and siblings are sonsidered as your family, they teach you that you need only trust them and that the rest of your blood relations maybe your familly but you can not really trust them or count on them.

That’s what I don’t like. I don’t agree with such implications. Family is someone you love and they love you, those who give you the extent of the love you deserve, those who keep up late at night not because you ask them too but because they can feel it inside of you.

That’s family is for me.

Being a Pakistani family, I have a lot of cousins. Its normal. 15-2- close and than there are those distant ones. You grow up with them, think of each other as brothers and sisters until someday someone plants the seed that only siblings are real family.

I grew up with two girls my age, I took them as my sisters, always thought of them as one, until, my own sisters grew up now, its supposed to be this way that I must be comfortable with my siblings, they are my sisters and my family but I am more comfortable with the ones I grew up, the wave of feeling I get for them is more sisterly than I ever imagined possible for myself feeling. They are my family.

Along with my sisters i grew up with brothers, too. They are older than me. 8 and 9 years older. Now the funny thing is, they are my cousins but I always called them bhai (brother) because that is what they are too me but in our society, cousin marriage is legal and mostly found, keeping that in mind no one thinks that cousins may actually be brother and sisters too. When i tell people about my brothers they look at me suspiciously as if the next thing i might say is that i am secretly in love with them. But what is that is not the case. What if the feelings i have for them may purely be brotherly and there’s for me sisterly. I feel it as insect. I know that is not what is it, but because they are brothers for me, it feel it incest when someone says about it.

That’s not it. Family is not only blood relations, it can also be people you meet along the road, those you touch your soul, you call them friends, some of them I call family.

I had two best friends, them I considered family, a boy and a girl. Not only friends but family. I would stick by them. Be there for them and they have proved to be there for me. People called us names, raised fingers at us but because we were a family we stood by each other.

Its not even religion limited. My aunt was a hindu. My brother in law a Christian but once they came into this family, my family, I have began to love as my own. They are my own. I love them and they love me.

That’s the point. Don’t think that only your family, or parents or siblings are your family. Your family is who you choose. Who you choose to love and protect. Who you want to see thrive and for who you’f give away your life. You can have brothers and sisters of your own choosing. That’s what family is.

I have my family! Both my brothers and sisters and friends. They are my family. I love them as much that I can’t hear anyone make accusations about our intents for each others. Even them about each other.

That’s it. I have chosen my family. They are mine and i am there’s. I am not always be with them. We may vary on our paths but no matter the millage between us, the love we keep for each others in our hearts is and always will be as pure as anything ever can be. A one word and we’d be there for each other.

So choose your own family and love them with all you have. Because in the end, family may be all you got.

-Naba Mehdi

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